Thursday, May 9, 2013

Four Days, Four Years

Four days until we take off. 1:22pm on Sunday to be exact. 
Hopefully by this time next week I will be settled in Zimba. 
In the meantime, I am finishing my to do lists and attempting to get packed up. 

Fun fact: Did you know that you can be arrested for drug trafficking if you try to bring Benadryl (diphenhydramine) into Zambia?! It's considered a controlled substance there and since I'm not quite ready to tour the inside of a Zambian prison, I'll be leaving the Tylenol PM at home. Sheeeesh. I digress. 

I'm not sure I've ever felt more bipolar than I have this week. One minute I'm overwhelmed with excitement and ready to jump on the plane and the next I'm wondering what I've gotten myself into and why I would choose to leave my safe, sweet, comfortable life in Nashville. The past two weeks have been filled with coffee dates and parties and snuggles with my best friends' munchkins and naps in the sunshine in Sevier park - all of the people and places that make Nashville home. They've also been filled with prayers that have covered me and a church that stands beside me and hugs that I struggled to let go of and long, tearful goodbyes. I'm tasting the sweetness of my community & feeling how unbelievably blessed I am & part of me wants to stay right here to soak it up. 

But all week the Lord has been whispering to my fearful heart, "I was faithful once, I'll be faithful again." You see, this weekend marks my four year anniversary of moving to Nashville. I too often forget how terrified I was to take that leap of faith and move to such a scary and unfamiliar place. I almost let fear paralyze me then. I almost talked myself out of Nashville. I thought I had the best in SC. But God kept pushing. He knew what was ahead. He knew the sweetness of what was to come. He had gone before me and was planting seeds of community before I ever stepped foot in this city. He asked me to follow and He blew my expectations out of the water. 

And He'll be faithful to do it again because that is who He is. It is His character. The problem is most of us love to hold tight to the comfortable, the safe, the expectations because our human minds cannot imagine anything better. We are blinded by the illusion of security. We attempt to minimize risk at every corner. We let our fear of the unknown box us in. But Scripture clearly says God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Eph 3:20). He is faithful. 

So here I am fighting fears and trembling hands, certain He has asked me to again take the leap of faith and follow Him to Zambia, believing He has gone before me and will once again do far more than I can imagine. Four years later, with the story still being written, Nashville reminds me every day that my God is trustworthy. 

Take a leap, choose the risky path, follow where He is leading. He is faithful. 

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